{"id":132,"date":"2025-10-28T09:03:04","date_gmt":"2025-10-28T09:03:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/?p=132"},"modified":"2025-10-28T09:13:55","modified_gmt":"2025-10-28T09:13:55","slug":"demystifying-dutch-directness-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/2025\/10\/28\/demystifying-dutch-directness-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Demystifying Dutch Directness Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Before moving to the Netherlands, I wanted to prepare myself for what I was getting into. Sure, Canada –> Netherlands shouldn\u2019t be too much of a culture shock, but one thing I repeatedly heard was that the Dutch are supposedly very direct. I had received complaints regarding my own directness back in Canada, so I figured \u2013 and for the most part, I was correct \u2013 that I would fit well into Dutch contexts because of this trait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Six years later, I\u2019ve had occasion to revisit the question of Dutch directness. This is because I was surprised last week by experiencing for myself a major linguistic difference concerning argumentation \u2013 one that I believe to have enormous impact on perceptions of directness:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a class I have to take for Dutch immigration we were asked to define \u2018feedback\u2019. I\u2019m on Easy Street, since the word derives from my native language, but keep in mind I\u2019m in a room filled mostly with refugees who don\u2019t know Dutch or<\/em> English very well. A person says in their limited Dutch, feedback is a \u2018response\u2019 given by someone concerning something you\u2019ve done. The instructor asked the room if we agreed \u2013 and here my response in English versus Dutch turned out to be vastly different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do I agree with them? Yes; they are not wrong, and I think in a parallel way. Even if it\u2019s not a carbon copy of what I would have said, in English I would say I agree with them. However, the question was asked in Dutch; the phrasing being literally \u201care you at one with this person?\u201d \u2013 and my answer completely shifted poles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was not completely \u2018at one\u2019 with their answer, which meant I disagreed with them. To say you\u2019re \u2018at one with someone\u2019 connotates being unified, and treading the exact path as them rather than merely thinking on a parallel track. You essentially allow them to speak on your behalf, so unless you completely <\/em>agree to this extent, you cannot claim agreement. In my experience this does not encourage an air of disagreement so much as nuance: in the situation above, the person\u2019s response defined the action<\/em> inherent to feedback, but I would personally add something about feedback\u2019s goal<\/em> of doing better next time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps the more accurate translation of \u2018agreement\u2019 and its English connotations into Dutch would be \u201cdaar ga ik in (met je) mee (maar)\u201d. In its felt sense, this means \u201cfor practical purposes I\u2019ll go along with you\u201d, but it insinuates both that there is some difference of opinion, and<\/em> that further discussion is expected regarding this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To agree with someone in Dutch feels much more intimate, and is a more radical commitment than in English. It is much easier given these connotations to say you don\u2019t agree with someone; but it is not a conversation-stopper like it sometimes is in English, because you are then expected to point out precisely where the differences lie. In practice, if the Dutch are indeed \u2018more direct\u2019, I think these connotations contribute significantly. It is certainly much more comfortable linguistically to have differences of thought, since \u2018being unified with another person\u2019 is quite an extreme statement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Before moving to the Netherlands, I wanted to prepare myself for what I was getting into. Sure, Canada –> Netherlands shouldn\u2019t be too much of a culture shock, but one thing I repeatedly heard was that the Dutch are supposedly very direct. I had received complaints regarding my own directness back in Canada, so I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[6,5],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-language","tag-dutch","tag-language"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":134,"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions\/134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mythiqulous.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}